in fidem
by tombombadillo
Summary: But she's there, and maybe forever is a long time but recently, she's been thinking she wouldn't mind spending it by his side.


**Okay, this was part of another story, but I've since deleted that but I'm going through what I originally wrote for it and decided to upload the chapters that I love too much to not have up. And this one, I'm particularly fond of. Slightly edited in places, but not majorly.**

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_**in fidem – into faith**_

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She's not sure whether it's the feel of his fingers against her bare skin that woke her up, or whether it's the sound of his fingers against the keyboard. Part of her wondered whether he's actually aware of it, or whether he's just doing it just because she's there, a subconscious need to make sure that he's not dreaming, it isn't his imagination, she is actually in his bed. She hates that sometimes he gets paranoid that one day she's not going to be there. But she's there, and maybe forever is a long time but recently, she's been thinking she wouldn't mind spending it by his side. Random patterns on the back of her neck, down her spine, back up and into her hairline, fingers tapping out notes on her spine. It's not particularly soothing, and the longer she's awake the harder she finds it to get back to sleep.

"Castle…" she murmured, turning her head towards him.

"Kate… thought you were asleep."

"Was." She replied, leaning on her elbows. "What are you writing?"

"Just… stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah." He sighed, shut the laptop with a snap. "Needed to get things out. Helps me think."

Kate ran her fingers up his arm, his skin soft and warm and familiar. " It was a tough case."

He nodded, sliding downwards in the bed until Kate could lie on her side next to him, one arm slung across his hips, the other propping her head up. "You wanna talk?"

"No, no I'm alright. I wrote what I needed to." She can tell he has, that most of what was grating at him has been eradicated, but there's still a flicker of something she doesn't like, deep down in his pupils. But, she's not going to drag it up. It doesn't work that way.

"Good. Was it Nikki Heat?"

"Could be, with a few changes. It's not… it doesn't fit the storyline for this book, but maybe another one. Or maybe I'll just leave it to fester on my hard drive and delete it when I've forgotten what it even says."

Kate propped her chin on Castle's chest, stared at a spot over his other shoulder. "Wish I could do that."

"What do you mean?"

"You get all this… stuff in your head, stuff that keeps you awake, and when you write it out, it leaves. Right? It doesn't bother you anymore. You've dealt with it. Everything in my head… it stays there. It's malignant, it just… doesn't go away. Just grows."

Castle wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulled her even closer. "It's just my way of dealing with things. You have yours too."

"Shooting a paper target doesn't quite have the same effect."

"No, but it's damn sexy."

Kate elbowed him in the side. "You're not funny."

"That's a matter of opinion. I find myself hilarious."

"You find yourself a lot of things." Kate laughed, leaning over him, her mouth inches from his.

His gaze flicked downwards, and then back up to her eyes, the spark of arousal flickering in his pupils. "What do you find me?"

"Do you want the truth, or?"

"Preferably anything that sheds me in a good light."

Kate smirked, rising up on her knees so she could straddle him. His hands, purely from practice, find their way to her hips, tug her forwards slightly. "Thought we said no more lies."

"I'm the funny one in this relationship."

"You keep telling yourself that. Some day someone _might_ believe you." She arches against him as his fingers pressed a line up her spine, and he grinned. Damn him.

She sank against him, felt the hard muscle of his stomach against her skin, elbows either side of his ears, his mouth millimetres from hers. She could feel his breath coasting against her cheek, his hand rising up her back to the back of her neck, tangled in the loose ponytail that she stuck her hair in, pulled her down to press his mouth against hers. She wasn't sure if she meant for this to be arousing or comforting, but his grip on her neck is strong and he plunders her mouth, taking and taking while all she can do is try and breath. During the first few months she was good at surprising him in bed. She could roll him over and have him pinned to the bed before he had time to blink. But now, now he knows her – all of her – he retaliates, and she's the one surprised.

Surprises her now, when he rolls both of them and she sucks in air as his mouth leaves hers, finds a path across her jaw and down her neck, sucking, biting, open mouth kisses that leave her hips pushing into his. Needy. She needs him. Her fingers find purchase in his hair pulls his mouth away from her collarbone. He looks up at her, his eyes dim in the light, but she can see him smiling. He laughs, inches himself lower. A kiss between her breasts, above her navel, on her hip bone, his fingers tracing constantly following his mouth.

_Ohh._

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He's quiet now, pressed against her back, his breath tickling her skin. He's humming something, a song she knows but can't name, soothing. He's right, when she thinks about it, she does have a way of distracting herself from the thoughts inside her head. Castle is _very_ good at distracting her. With his goofy smile, and his blue eyes, his ridiculous theories, and his imaginative fingers, he takes the bad thoughts from her and replaces them. Makes her see the good in things. And that's really all she needs.


End file.
